Life Memories

lifememories

 

Life Memories

Sitting here thinking

Listening to various songs

Visions flash before me

Eyes

A smile

There is a vague scent in the air

Laughter can be heard off in the distance

Is it real or in my mind?

Memories continue

Some good

Some bad

Time drifts away

I think on those memories

Some I wish I didn’t have

Others I wish I could live again

They are all part of who I am

Memories are what happen while life is lived.

Cherish them, all of them.

They made me who I am

And I am indestructible.

© Dellajes Anilom 2017

How I Loathe Myself

howiloathemyself

 

How I Loathe Myself

The sound of the ping brightens my day

And how I hate that I smile thinking it’s you.

Only to see it isn’t.

There was some small witty banter

When we first started chatting

Now… silence.

The emptiness is almost immediate

Self-loathing is definite

Pain … inevitable.

Why do I do this to myself?

Why keep looking?

Love is not real.

The only real feelings in life

Is hate, pain, and sorrow.

Ping… is it you?

How I loathe myself.

© Dellajes Anilom 2017

My Singer

My Singer

 

 

Most of the time

I’m okay

No thoughts seem

To get in the way

But there are times

When I think of you

Of how your voice

Takes away my blues

I’ll close my eyes

And begin to smile

Listening to your words

Getting lost for awhile

No matter the song

The feelings the same

Happy, sad, love or not

Either way, it’s just a game

Your voice heals me

Though you’ll never know

It’s in the way you sing

The tone, the flow

Your feelings for me

I know are not true

But they are not the same

For I … love you.

Most of the time

I’m okay

No thoughts seem

To get in the way

But there are times

When I think of you

Of how your voice

Takes away my blues

I’ll close my eyes

And begin to smile

Listening to your words

Getting lost for awhile

No matter the song

The feelings the same

Happy, sad, love or not

Either way, it’s just a game

Your voice heals me

Though you’ll never know

It’s in the way you sing

The tone, the flow

Your feelings for me

I know are not true

But they are not the same

For I … love you.

©2011 Dellajes Anilom

It’s Over

Its Over

All this time you’ve put me down

I was made to feel so small

Never good enough to be around

Always left behind to crawl

Why you had so much power

I shall never know

But today, it’s over

It’s time for me to go

The pain you’ve caused me

The loneliness I went through

It took me awhile to see

But I know it wasn’t me, but you

Why you had so much power

I shall never know

But today, it’s over

It’s time for me to go

I’m moving on with my life

You won’t even be a memory

Perhaps one day you will thrive

But I don’t care, for I’m finally free

Why you had so much power

I shall never know

But today, it’s over

It’s time for me to go

Walking away from you

I could do it all along

Just watch as I’m out of view

You know what… I’m gone.

©2011 Dellajes Anilom

Done

Done Cover

Done

 

My heart aches to have the clouds hiding my moods

To have rain fall disguising my own tears

Feeling the cool wet drops fall from the sky

Softly kissing my cheeks and eyes as I cry

Time seems to be at a standstill

My heart lost to an ache that seems to never end

A loneliness that consumes my inner being

Searching for a life, that has some meaning

Sighing deeply, I close my eyes

Thinking of times that have past

Has my time of happiness come and gone

Without my knowledge that it is done

Should I surrender to the darkness?

Would I even be missed?

In the darkness of what is my life

I search for what I am longing for

I knew what it was, at one point in time

But now, it’s blurred by dirt and grime

As time continues to pass

The edges have begun to fade completely

Life is never ending regardless of the outcome

Perhaps, it has been all said… and done.

©2011 Dellajes Anilom

Bleeding

Bleeding Cover

Bleeding

Slowly the ache builds

As though it is not sure

But deep inside, there is no hiding

From the feelings that are pure.

Pure or not,

The pain is the same

One that has decided

To always remain.

In darkness of what was once a soul

Lingers a fantasy

One which strives to seek a home

Beyond dreams, beyond fairies.

But life has proven

No happy endings

For the soul of a girl

Whose heart lies bleeding.

©Dellajes Anilom