How I Loathe Myself



How I Loathe Myself

The sound of the ping brightens my day

And how I hate that I smile thinking it’s you.

Only to see it isn’t.

There was some small witty banter

When we first started chatting

Now… silence.

The emptiness is almost immediate

Self-loathing is definite

Pain … inevitable.

Why do I do this to myself?

Why keep looking?

Love is not real.

The only real feelings in life

Is hate, pain, and sorrow.

Ping… is it you?

How I loathe myself.

© Dellajes Anilom 2017


Real Me

First Cover Design

First Cover Design


What is time?

What is a lie?

What are these emotions

That simply won’t die.

Physical pain

Runs through this body


Of unspoken agony.

The physical pain can be dealt with

It will fade or dull with time

It’s the pain within my being

That claims this ache of mine.

Blackness envelopes me

Attempting to drown who I am

Though I try reaching out

With both of my hands.

Reaching for what

I am not sure

The blackness is still here

Something I endure.

Perhaps this time will pass

Ending the oblivion

Should it not occur…

I shall continue to pretend.

©2013 Dellajes Anilom

Cover Design 2

Cover Design 2

This Place

This Place


I think of you, most of the day

Wondering if you might feel, the same way


Closing my eyes, I see your face

Wishing I could get, out of this place


Hearing you laugh, makes me smile

It’s a sound I could listen to, for a while


I always enjoy talking to you

You turn my day from black, to blue


But it’s when you sing

That changes everything

I get lost in the words

Your voice like nothing, I’ve ever heard


I close my eyes, when I listen to you

My feelings, my emotions, shown with a tear or two


How I long, to get out of this place

You’re a dream, I keep trying to chase


Though I honor the place I’m in

I still wonder… Will I always, just be a friend?


©2011 Dellajes Anilom

Does Time

Does Time

Does Time


Does time heal?

Does it know how I feel?

Does it realize the hurt, the pain,

Of all the aches in my heart?

The pain from these months

That we have been apart.

Nights crying out for you,

Days not know what to do.

Longing to look,

Into your eyes,

Knowing the pain,

Can no longer be disguised.

The pain of losing you,

Has turned my world askew.

Does time truly heal

A heart that’s broken

Or does it merely leave

Words unspoken.

Does time heal?

Does it know… how I feel?

©2011 Dellajes Anilom